All posts tagged: winter

Winter as a Time of Healing

I hide away, holding myself close as my inner guide whispers softly, “Everything is going to be alright.” I stroke my left forearm with my right hand, up and down until my chest reduces to a steady drumbeat. I throw my hands up in the air, fall to my knees and say, “I surrender.” I surrender to the pain in that moment because it has a job to do. It has an occupation, a resume, a portfolio, an agenda. A briefcase, even. It came with a purpose. And I allow it to fulfill their duty. I allow myself to be audited, to mark down the notes of what is going on right now in this moment so it can be handled. I sit still for a moment to cry and as I finish crying, I smile. I smile because I know that while I purge the grainy, muddy goop that comes from the bellows beneath me—spilling out on to the floor—I know this also means a new era is coming. A fresh start, a stronger …

The First Cold Night

There is an airy silence tonight, the kind of silence that comes as snow falls lightly on a morning commute. I lie awake wondering if the morning will bring heart ache and regret or happiness and relief. This was the moment I was dreading, the moment that could cause so much pain but set me free so I could move on with my life. Newly 19-years-old, I had felt stuck ever since that night he took me out for coffee. I’ll never forget the text he sent me during Psychology class senior year: “Would you like to go on a date with me tonight? Love, Parker.” Oh, and he added a smiley face and a heart to the end of that text, as if it wasn’t bad enough already (so 2010 of him). The alarm clock in my head woke me up instantly but I decided to hit snooze and fall back asleep. In the clouds, of course. Robert is never the one to be realistic. So there I was, on a Thursday night, sipping a white chocolate non-fat …

Winter Romance: My First Boyfriend

The following is an excerpt from the book I am writing called, “Skittles for Breakfast.” December has always been my favorite month. I even want to grace my first adopted daughter with the name DECEMBER and call her DESEE for short. Sounds ridiculous, but it’s not as bad as the name for my future second daughter, KACI, a name inspired by Kelly Clarkson’s first and last initials.