All posts tagged: spring awakening

Spring Awakening: Part Six

The following is the sixth chapter of a series titled, “Spring Awakening.” Within two months I dated two people who both played significant roles in shaping how I view life, love and happiness. What I learned along the way surprised me.  This is Part Six. Chris said, “What are you thinking about?” That question. That fucking question. I hate that question. But there was something different about Chris and unlike with Genie I decided to give him a real answer.

Spring Awakening: Part Five

The following is the fifth chapter of a series titled, “Spring Awakening.” Within two months I dated two people who both played significant roles in shaping how I view life, love and happiness. What I learned along the way surprised me.  This is Part Five. At the end of Part Four, we are introduced to Chris. If you recall in Part One, Gay Spinster breaks up with a fellow named Chris in the first few lines. I gave away Chris’ ending, but the ending of a story is not always the most important; sometimes it’s the beginning and the middle that give you all that you need to learn. But first, before you learn more about Chris, let’s rewind to find out what exactly happened with Genie, and the night he showed up to my Coffee House event.

Spring Awakening: Part Four

The following is the fourth chapter of a series titled, “Spring Awakening.” Within two months I dated two people who both played significant roles in shaping how I view life, love and happiness. What I learned along the way surprised me.  This is Part Four.  Post-breakup depression is a tumultuous roller coaster. We second-guess ourselves and over analyze. We ask ourselves, “What did I do wrong?” And sometimes our wrongdoings are more obvious. Sometimes we know exactly who to blame even when we put blame on the wrong person. Sometimes the other person betrayed us so much that we had no choice but to run away. One thing is for certain, it’s difficult to move on from a break up with someone you loved, but it’s impossible to move on when it’s your fault.

Spring Awakening: Part Three

The following is the third chapter of a series titled, “Spring Awakening.” Within two months I dated two people who both played significant roles in shaping how I view life, love and happiness. What I learned along the way surprised me.  This is Part Three.  I absolutely loathe getting tickled. Every time I see a bitch coming at me with their arms spread out, fingers wiggling, indicating a sign of pure sadistic terror, I flinch, flail, scream and run away. It’s such a prevalent fear in my life that even if someone swiftly reaches out their hand to say, ‘hello’ or greet me with a surprise hug, I run for the hills. Genie loved to tickle me.

Spring Awakening: Part Two

The following is the second chapter of a four-part series titled, “Spring Awakening.” Within two months I dated two people who both played significant roles in shaping how I view life, love and happiness. What I learned along the way surprised me.  This is Part Two.  I love driving down Rio Salado Parkway late at night. As someone who absolutely loathes confinement and restriction, there is a a freeing and peaceful force when driving with the windows rolled down on a lonely road, passing through each green light as the street lamps cast staggering shadows across your path. Genie looked so good tonight. As we became the beat of the music blasting on the radio, he removed his beanie and shook his long hair out of its cage, and pushed his back up against the passenger door. He tipped his head out through the window, letting his hair fly above the wind, combing it with his fingers and crooning along to the tune.

Spring Awakening: Part One

The following is the first chapter of a four-part series titled, “Spring Awakening.” Within two months I dated two people who both played significant roles in shaping how I view life, love and happiness. What I learned along the way surprised me.  This is Part One.  “You’re absolutely wonderful,” Chris said. We were both holding back tears at this point, trying to withstand the sadness while in public and on campus. When Chris rode up on his bike, he looked oh, so perfect. He looked happy. And what did I do when he stopped and pulled out his headphones to greet me, his boyfriend? I said, “Christopher, I’m breaking up with you.”

I’m Done Feeling Ashamed of My Body

What will it take for us to stop feeling so ashamed about our bodies? On multiple occasions, I have found myself looking at the mirror, pulling and pushing at different body parts, struggling to imagine what my body would look like if I could just lose at least 15 pounds. I have had moments where I find myself completely disgusting and repulsive, so much so that I would make up excuses not to go out when I had plans. I’ve missed a wedding, two networking events, a halloween party, and several other events where my presence was requested. I even almost backed out of going to New York City for the first time, and had I listened to my insecurities, I never would have interned in NYC last summer. I have backed out and I have refused invites because I “didn’t feel good” when really, “I didn’t look good.” Or at least, that was what I would tell myself.

Spring Awakening

Spring Awakening is a project that has come together over the course of two months. Inspired by my friend Eugene who asked me, “What are you doing for YOU?”, I realized I was in need of renewal, in need of a Spring Awakening. For the next few weeks, Diary of a Gay Spinster will be in full force, as I share the stories of my own Spring Awakening. Hopefully, I can inspire more people to spread love, live young and BE BOLD. Read Spring Awakening here: I’m Done Feeling Ashamed of My Body Spring Awakening | Part One Spring Awakening | Part Two Spring Awakening | Part Three Spring Awakening | Part Four Spring Awakening | Part Five Spring Awakening | Part Six Check back daily for updates!