I was nervous as fuck. I didn’t even want to go on this date if I’m being completely honest. His name was Lorenzo and this would be our first time officially meeting. We met on Tinder, which doesn’t sound too credible, but we had five mutual friends on Facebook and he genuinely seemed like an intelligent and humble guy. I forgot to mention he was fucking hot. So hot, that when I showed his picture to a straight friend his response was, “Well, aesthetically speaking, he’s way out of your league.” Perfect. Just what I needed to hear. If being gorgeous wasn’t enough, he’s also a huge supporter of the arts and teaches choir at a high school in Phoenix. Insert crying emoji. Also, let me jump ahead here and let you know that he is half Italian and half Mexican, which is literally such a perfect mix. Also, he speaks both Italian and Spanish. Fucking shoot me right? I couldn’t stand a chance with this guy. I wasn’t even sure why he was so …
You can call me an optimist, but I like to think I’m just hopeful. I find that losing yourself and finding yourself is one of the greatest human experiences we could ever endure. There’s something about self-awareness that fascinates me so much. You can also call me self-involved, but I like to think I’m just in touch with who I am.
I wouldn’t say I’ve become more of a bitch, I just refuse to fuck around. Actually scratch that, I’m definitely more of a bitch. A bold bitch to be exact. And that’s good you know, like taking charge, not putting up with bullshit. But prior to this transition, I was just a little bitch boy who was pretty damn pathetic, so much so I would’ve done anything for the one and only Jayden Tucker.
We all have visions for ourselves. We all see who we are and who we want to be, and how to get there. Some of us fight for what it is we want and some of us are too scared to try. When you’re a fighter, and you’re living the Bold Bitch lifestyle to achieve whatever it is you’ve been working for, sometimes it’s easy to fall into the trap. The trap of feeling like you’ve made it. When really, you haven’t made shit, honey. When you have spent years feeling stuck and vying for inspiration, you receive hype off of your own successes. It’s when you’re on a winning streak that you begin to realize that you are worthy, you do have the talent, and you ARE doing something with your life. But be warned, dear; for feeling too high will only bring you down lower than when you started. For me, the trick to keeping yourself focused on what you want, is to feel a little bit like a hot mess. It sounds …
I didn’t think I would ever kiss him. In fact, I didn’t think he would ever want to kiss me. That seemed way more unlikely. I knew how I felt, but I certainly didn’t know how he felt. I’ve always been a little naive about that sort of thing.
Hey boo hey! Today we are taking a look at the past, a time when being a bold bitch was not only difficult, but unpopular. It still isn’t that popular but this story comes from a very bold place. Let it be known that boldness doesn’t always lead to GOODness. And sometimes, letting go is the boldest thing you can do. Without further ado, let’s go back to the 2000s…
THE BEGINNING Some may say I chose the Mean Girls life, but the Mean Girls life chose me. It wasn’t something I was looking for. The first day of my first class at the Walter Cronkite school and there he was. Regina George in the flesh.
I didn’t quite understand exactly how this would all go down. I was pretty certain that I was into this guy, but at the same time I felt like maybe I was just lonely. Loneliness can mess with a person, especially the longer loneliness sticks around. I have friends, yes, but there comes a point in someones life when he or she starts believing in the lie, the lie that if no one shows their interest in you, you must be uninteresting. That may or not have been the case with me.
Hey loves. This is a story about a girl named, Lucky. JK JK no not really. This story derives from my own life, my own experiences, my own spinsterhood.
To All You Bad Bitches, I have a new series to be featured here aptly titled, “DIARY OF A BOLD BITCH,” a series that tells of the strange and intriguing events that have taken place in my life since the dawn of 2013. It begs the question: “If I were to fall in love with me, would I still need you?” PART ONE will go live Thursday, February 7 at 10am at diaryofagayspinster.wordpress.com xoxo Robby Rob