Month: June 2017

Why I’m Ending ‘Queer Spinster’

As some of you may already know, the final Queer Spinster blog post will be shared on July 3, 2017. And some of you may be wondering why. I began this blog (as Diary of a Gay Spinster) in late 2012 at 20 years old with a quest to relieve myself of feeling embarrassed by my own spinsterdom. In my first post, I began a simple call made of self-deprecation, to “claim the darkest parts of myself and find the humor in my own tragedy.” In an official introduction post, I wrote: “The purpose of this blog is to connect with at least one person, a lost soul who has a free ticket to the Hot Mess Express. Well if you are that person, I’m here for you. I know what it’s like to be a single, career driven college student without prospects. I’m probably just dramatic, but the drama of it all (not stupid high school drama, I mean the glamorization of your own failures and successes) is what fuels my desire to make …

What We Judge About Ourselves Shows Up in How We Judge Others

There are many facets to how and why we judge others. Today specifically, I wanted to discuss how when we disconnect from pain, we disconnect from empathy for others who are going through a similar pain. Until we are truly liberated from that pain by facing it head on, it will come up in the way we judge others. I’m still working through my own healing and learning how to hold empathy for those who behave in ways that I now reject, and remember that they too are the same as me. We are all the same. The most important thing to remember is we must look at ourselves with love and share that in connecting with others. In the words of thought leader Gabrielle Bernstein, “The moment we release judgment, unity is restored — and each shift from judgment to unity is a miracle.” xx Manulani