Year: 2016

If You Voted for Donald Trump, You’re Trash

“Can we all just get along now and be friends again?” No, no we can not. What privilege you must have to overlook the racist, homophobic, xenophobic, transphobic, misogynistic beliefs of the Trump platform. What a lovely thought to come together now after half of America has shown themselves. Well we will not be friends. My only regret is not formally dragging trump supporters as abrasively as I could have as the election went on. From within my lungs I feel the pressure to speak and to help put an end to hatred and white lashing in this country. All I can do is to continue to live openly and loudly as I can, to embrace and celebrate my faggotry like an “I Voted” sticker and love the fuck out of my disenfranchised minority brothers and sisters. I will be a light within the darkness of this dark new era, and we will be lights for each other. This election is a win for white supremacy, a win for protecting the privileges of whites and declaring …

On Embracing Your Light

It can be appalling to know that a grown adult would seek to dim the light of a 24-year-old. But many of us know, that no matter what age or background, there will be people that would rather see others as inferior to them than to embrace and encourage individuals to be all that they can be. I’m not speaking about anything new here. This is not something that hasn’t already been discussed over and over again in many forms. And yet, here we are, some of us having already understood the problematic nature of comparison, microaggressions and the desire to feel validated via feeding the insecurities of others. There is something quite profound in knowing that your very existence has the potential to crack a thunderstorm in someone else’s clouds. All you can do is continue to be a rainbow for those who are seeking to calm the storm; allowing the ones who are busy creating dark skies to keep doing so, because after all, it is not your job to fix them. But even so, being surrounded by too …

How Embracing My Femininity Released Me from My Ex-Lover’s Approval

I pricked my finger on David’s line of vision and couldn’t get enough of his attention. He told me he loved me and wanted to be with me, yet still one thing was clear: he wasn’t completely attracted to me. While I sought to pursue this image of what he wanted, I found myself spiraling out of grip, scrambling to keep up with the sexually appealing nature of my contemporaries. Toned bodies laced in leather choking at each joint, jaw lines that ran forever, eyes like whirlpools sucking in every Instagram follower, masculinity: dirty and raw. These men were who he wanted. In January, he sparked an essay I posted about breaking out of my supposed ‘lane’ and embracing my own sexually aggressive nature, owning my sexuality at the forefront versus keeping it within until brought forth when comfortable. My social feeds were filled with images of who I wanted to be, of the men I knew David wished I could be, and I came up short each time under my own guise. “I could be like that,” I …

The Next Chapter

Photo by Sara Nevels. Two years ago I was fresh out of college without a plan and no direction. All I knew was that I wanted to live between an intersection as both artist and career-woman, building a life that allowed me to grow in both. I made the decision to follow my career path first and it has brought me to an understanding of myself and my creativity I wouldn’t have known while sitting in my room simply dreaming up ideas. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, planning and dreaming isn’t always the best approach, it’s the doing that advances you toward your life purpose, and in action is when you are able to transform. Looking back I see I was getting glimpses as to who I would become, and now I’m beginning to take form with confidence and strength. Can’t believe I’ll be 25 in two months. Yay for self-awareness. More related articles: Reinventing Your Future Know Your Worth The Lesson I Learned In Letting Go of a Toxic Lover

The Lesson I Learned In Letting Go of a Toxic Lover

Photo by Noemi Gonzalez.  This had gone beyond simply: “wrapped around his finger.” This was barbed wire coiled up within my sheets, trapping me inside my bed, leaving me too weak to even fight it. So all I did was sleep, hoping that one day I would understand that he and I were meant to be. But beneath my skin I knew that we were not. Sometimes two people develop an insane and passionate connection quickly–not for the purpose of being together in a healthy and loving relationship–but to pair perfectly with each other’s darkest inner selves. It sounds frightening, I know, but at the time it all went down, I didn’t seem to notice it. Being with him was like dancing with the devil. I felt alive, I felt free, I felt wild. I felt as if I could reach my full potential and destroy my empathetic nature to free myself from caring about the well being of other people. He brought out the beast in me that sought to succeed and do well by becoming malicious, conniving and destructive. With David, I felt …

5 Christian Music Divas I Adored (Because I Wasn’t Allowed to Listen to Britney)

Growing up in a super Christian household had some lovely benefits. For example, Vacation Bible School was lit. Each summer had a theme and they would barbecue every day for a week! I got to eat burgers and hot dogs plus the opportunity to take part in an exciting new era each summer, whether it be “Under the Sea” themed or “Old Western.” I lived for the theatrics (as well as the applause for memorizing bible verses because I am an over-achiever/show-boater). Another lovely perk was the ability to remove myself from several specific narratives including the study of science and dinosaurs in elementary school. Science was my least favorite subject and I was sure to deny evolution openly in class, as well as the thought that dinosaurs ever existed. I had friends who loved dinos and Jurassic Park but I much preferred watching Regis and Kelly over playing childish games. While my family simmered down with strict religious rules by the time I was 14, there were still things I had to catch up on as I …

How I Rose to Power in Sixth Grade and Got Scammed by My Teacher

Photo by Orlando Pelagio As an elementary school student, I was on fire. At an early age though, I also understood that I was controlling and full of myself. In first grade, I was the annoying kid who raised their hand to read just so I could show off the fact that I had been practicing at home in my room, devouring all of the Roald Dahl books I could find at the school library. It’s what landed me the role of ‘Narrator’ in our first grade production of The Great Kapok Tree. By second grade I solidified my role as teacher’s pet and became the adoptive child of my favorite teacher, Mrs. Winston. She was everything to me. She taught me all about other cultures and religions, including her Jewish family traditions. Her life seemed so much more fascinating than my boring Christian household. But in third grade, I wanted to fit in with the other kids. When my teacher told me that I was excelling at a fifth grade reading level, I tried to play dumb. I was put in the reading group …

I Thought I Had Walking Pneumonia but It Was Actually Depression

Photo by Orlando Pelagio.  The following takes place during the month of August 2016. I was glad I could squeeze in an appointment during my trip to Arizona. The nurse called me back to see my doctor. First she told me to get on the scale to check my weight. The number was shocking. For the past few years, I have never weighed more than 160 pounds and would fluctuate regularly between 154-160. Upon stepping on the scale, I weighed 188 pounds. “There must be some mistake. Should I take off my shoes?” I asked, even though I know science doesn’t work that way. “No, that won’t be necessary. This scale is accurate.” She said. The nurse proceeded to take me back to where I would be seen by my doctor. I had all my symptoms listed and ready to go because I am prepared, boo boo. I don’t enjoy going to the doctor, the dentist, (or the clinic) so I am always sure that when I do go, I am ready to let them know what’s going on …

7 Downsides to Having Resting Friendly Face

Hello, boo. It sure has been a while. A lot has happened in the past few weeks, like moving to Brooklyn and what not. But besides that, same old, same old. Anyhoo-today I’d like to talk about something that often goes undiscussed. I’m talking about RESTING FRIENDLY FACE, my friends. A condition that’s pretty much the opposite of RESTING BITCH FACE (RBF) and in many cases causes just as many awkward situations. Sometimes appearing warm and approachable isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. Here are 7 downsides to having resting friendly face: 1. Strangers feel like they can tell you their problems. “Oh, what did you say? You and your wife recently divorced and you’re still in love with her? Oh boy, what a pickle you’re in, sir!” This is literally something that’s happened to me. To all my RFF brothers and sisters out there, you know what I’m talking about. You could just be casually browsing the produce section for avocados to make a shit ton of guacamole for your best friend’s upcoming bachelorette …