2015 (The Year of the Sheep) was a jolly fun time for heartbreak, triumph, renewal, personal growth, self-reflection and newfound spiritual connections (much like most of everyone’s years) and it’s always lovely to look back on it and really understand what the f**k went down. What did I learn? What did I takeaway from these experiences? So for shits and giggles (do people still say that? The answer is probably ‘nah’) I wrote out some of my darkest 2015 confessions and maybe y’all can relate. Check it.
My ex-boyfriend was totally right for dumping me
It might be hard to swallow at first but before you resent someone for dumping you, it’s important to take into account why you were broken up with in the first place. Often times, it has nothing to do and more so to do with how you are stifling their personal growth. Why hold that against someone? It’s easy to do – and in some cases, the person who dumped you might have been a complete and total asshole – but often times the only reason a guy needs is “this isn’t what I want.” Granted, the relationship I’m referring to only lasted a couple months anyways, but still. There’s never a need to hate someone just because things didn’t work out. Focus on yourself and what you need. Don’t be selfish about it, boo-boo and let the bitterness die.
I no longer have time for people to play me
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m getting older or because I’m busier, but 2014 Robert put up with a LOT of bullshit. And while I’m still a bit slow on catching whether or not someone isn’t worth my time, I now cut it off sooner rather than later. I really do not have time to play games as I am all the way booked.
I low-key miss being a social butterfly
When I was in college, serving, running two student organizations, hosting events, and interning, I thought I had little time for a social life. I thought that once I had a job, it would be easier to see people because that would be all I had to focus on. LIES. You have all the time in the world when you’re in school tbh. While you might not be juggling multiple hats and roles separate from each other, having a big-boy job is exhausting, even if you do love it, which in this case, I do love it. But all I want to do when I leave the office (which can be at around 8:30PM on days I’m really in the zone), all I want to do is go home, scroll through Tumblr, eat a string cheese and go to sleep. And then even on the weekends, I’m still exhausted, so I just sleep/read and try to get caught up on writing. I used to go to all sorts of social events and would be found out and about regularly. I have been making an effort to get out more lately but I decided one of my resolutions for next year is to make more time to be on the scene.
Maybe I’m a ‘friend slut’
A little birdy came to my window a couple months ago and informed me a person told them to “be careful” about being friends with me. She said “Robert gets bored easily and while you might seem like you’re good friends with him at first, he’ll move on to someone else eventually.” She certainly has me pegged…LOL.
First thing’s first, please don’t mistake my absence for boredom. I am not bored of you nor do I care any less about you just because I don’t hang out with you.
I’m the type of person who sees the good in everybody and can pretty much enjoy anyone’s company. I’m also quite expressive and not afraid to show love to people I think are dope. I’ve learned that this can fuck people up who are expecting to be BFFs.
Maybe I am a friend slut and I’m leading people on without realizing. Perhaps I need to reevaluate my life. Perhaps instead of blaming me for the situation, you should think about what you don’ did to make me not hang out with you anymore ya feel me? Or maybe just be honest and tell me how you feel. I like getting checked by people, it helps boost my self-awareness.
Fuck a brand, just do what you love
As a publicist, I’m all about branding, but as a writer with a tiny blog that has less than 12 followers and is written at a fifth-grade level, I’ve let go of the desire to ‘brand’ myself. This is a tremendous shift in my life. Since entering the world, I’ve dedicated copious amounts of time to becoming someone everyone liked. What a fucking waste. As it turns out, creating a false idea of yourself to entice people to like you is just a sad way of longing to feel validated. It wasn’t until I sincerely found my own inner-validation this year (partly by cutting out the energy-sucking awful people from my life) that I was able to begin the process of letting all of that go. The more you focus on becoming your true authentic self, the less people will like you, because you aren’t trying to fit into everyone’s standards of what they find appealing. And not only that, but the more you become your true authentic self, the easier it is to smell bullshit and know when someone is fake, thus cutting more people out of your circle. But the best part about this is that the people who do stick around and support you happen to be the most amazing people you will ever meet. BELEE DAT.
The fact of the matter is, I write this blog because I love it. It’s for me. I could spend all day talking about social campaigns and what I can do to gain followers, but if it ever means compromising who I truly am and what this blog is about, then I won’t do it.
As we come upon the final few weeks of 2015, I realized I now care less about my brand and more about the magic of creativity.
xoxo Robby Rob
NEW SERIES COMING SOON
Photos by Noemi Gonzalez.