Someone once said to me, “Slow and steady wins the race.”
But honestly, I don’t really see that as a suitable theory when it comes to giving your heart to someone.
Let me paint a picture for you.
So you meet this person and you hang around each other a bit, you talk, you have stuff in common, you have the same humor, and then BAM. You realize, “I think I may actually like this person!”
Then you go ahead and continue on with yo bold self and tell that person you like them. They don’t necessarily give you the answer you’d like, but at least you didn’t get your hopes up anyways because you know you’re not exactly the prettiest or the funniest but you thought, why not go for it!
Oh well, it didn’t work out.
But there are worse things.
You take some time to move on and get yourself togetha, and before you know it, you’re moved on!
You’re cruising along, singing in the shower again, lovin’ life, and in a couple months, you’re helping that person you once liked, get dates. You’re really in a swell state of mind.
Sure you get a bit jealous at times, but only because at this point you’ve gotten pretty protective of this person, as your friendship has grown closer and closer.
A year and a half goes by since the first time you confessed your feelings to this person, and you find yourself at a club with them, ready to set them up with some serious bootay. You see, this person needs you, quite honestly, or at least this person thinks need you, to break them out of their shell. So, being the good friend that you are, you’re more than happy to do it. Why not, right? You want your friend to be happy don’t you? You want them to gain confidence don’t you? So there you are, pedaling, getting potential suitors to go talk to your attractive, yet shy friend.
The night carries on into the hour when the patio becomes the hot spot and cigarettes and lighters are getting passed around like gum. Before you know it you’re both a bit tipsy, sitting outside on the club patio, with the city lights twinkling around you underneath the night sky, and suddenly you feel it, you feel…
That moment when you realize, “Holy shit, my friend who I used to like, totally wants to make out with me right now.”
Even though quite a few attractive club guests have shown their interest in your friend, and one even gave them their number, your friend then says to you, “Look at us, we are the best ones here. No one can touch us. We are the best ones.”
Not only is your friend eyeing you, they just told you that you’re the only one they have eyes for at that moment. This I serious. This can’t be.
You’re not the one, you’re never the one. How are you the one right now?
Your night has completely changed, and all your past feelings have returned full force. You haven’t even kissed yet, but it’s the opportunity that excites you now. It’s the possibility that it could happen. You’re thinking to yourself, “Wow, I may actually have a chance after all!”
You’re never the one who gets the guy in the end, that’s not YOU. You’re the one who likes a guy, you get mixed signals, and you end up in this unrequited love fiasco. But not tonight my dear angel, NOT TONIGHT.
That’s when it happens.
Your mouths, your tongues, are exchanging spiritual nectar.
You can’t process what’s happening, it’s all too much, it’s a blur really. It’s a moment of “is this really fucking happening?”
How did we get here, how am I tasting your lips right now? It’s completely strange, yet comfortable. You can’t even remember the point in which your faces went in for the kill. Time is irrelevant because all that matters is that it is happening.
And in that moment, you’re not just kissing the friend who stands before you, you’re kissing every person you ever loved who didn’t love you back.
* * *
It’s easy to get carried away when you feel like someone finally sees your spark.
You never want to let that go.
But as the sun becomes you, and the sidewalks are wet from morning sprinkler cycles, you realize last night was nothing more than a passing moment, a shooting star with no wish granted. It’s a moment to catch only if you’re in the right place, at the right time.
They say, “Slow and steady wins the race.”
But you can’t spend your whole life waiting around for shooting stars.
Was this love? No, I wasn’t in love. But I knew there was a lesson to learn from all of this, I just wouldn’t find it until a week later at The Drag Show…
to be continued…
The story of “A Kiss Can Change Everything” will continue tomorrow, 8/20 in “My Night at the Drag Show.”
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