Seriously though, you shouldn’t give a F**K what people think about you. You should care even less about what people say about you. Sometimes we get this idea in our head like, “WHAT? THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT ME? NO WAY, NO HOW, IF YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT ME, IT’S MY BUSINESS AND I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT IT.”
Instead of keeping track of the ones who talk badly about us, what if we told ourselves that it isn’t any of our business? It sounds like a strange concept to many; to feel like you should be powerless to the words people choose when they speak your name into the universe.
There are a few elements that go into why I believe this, and how it can help you live a much happier existence.
1. If you feel like you did something wrong, come at the person with KINDNESS/LOVE and find out what’s going on.
Before the drama begins, make sure you nip it in the bud. If you hear a good friend is talking badly about you, or notice they are ignoring you in any way, chances are you did something to make them feel that way. This is the only point in which you should care what people are saying. And I don’t just mean any kind of “people,” I mean someone who’s actually worth it.
I had a friend back in the day who did me dirty and I reacted by giving the silent treatment, ignoring them and becoming quite reclusive. Was it right for me to do that? Not really, but sometimes when you’re hurt or disrespected, you need time away from the person for a bit. Well, after a week of me ignoring the friend, they came at me CRAZY. “Why the hell are you playing games with me?! I don’t do this shit, hell no.”
Rule number one when trying to salvage a friendship, DO NOT come at them with anger. Only come at them with love and kindness. If someone really is your friend they will not be angry with you.
I had a friend once who came at me saying, “Hey. I don’t know what I did wrong but I love you and would love to talk about it. And if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s OK. I just hope we can still be friends. I love you.” THAT is the mark of a TRUE friend, someone who isn’t caught up in the drama but just cares about you being in their life.
Fight for your friends with love.
2. If you did nothing wrong, it really shouldn’t matter.
Look, you know who you are. If you’re confident in knowing you’re a good person with good intentions, then who cares what people say?
Know your truth, understand your mistakes, apologize for any wrongdoing and keep moving forward. I can think of a couple people I’ve been in fights with who I know talk MAAADDDD SHIT about me to their friends and acquaintances. But honestly, I can think of ten, fifteen more people who can say something nice about my character. As long as you’re continuing to spread good energy to people, that’s all that matters. YOU know the type of person you are, and so do your real friends.
3. If someone doesn’t like you, then get the fuck over it.
People with businesses sometimes think that EVERYONE has to like their product/services in order for their business to succeed. Not true. You go for a certain demographic and build from there. If you own a BBQ restaurant, why would you waste time trying to convince a vegetarian that pulled pork really is quite heavenly if they would just give it a try? NAHHHHH.
Never waste time on people you know already don’t fuck with you, because chances are they never will. Cultivate and maintain the relationships you have with people who already do like you. If you focus on your supporters, your support will grow.
Don’t worry about what haters are thinking. As the saying goes, “haters gonna hate.”
It’s important to never give people reason to speak ill of you, but we’re human and we make mistakes. Don’t gossip about friends, and if you are gossiping, you’re part of the problem. Don’t apologize for who you are if you’re doing nothing wrong, sometimes people will find you annoying for no reason but that’s life.
There’s no use in pleasing everybody.
People talk. People talk about you.
And it’s really none of your business.