by Samantha Hancey
There is an increasing trend on my Facebook news feed with date nights turned into engagements, weddings, baby showers and then so on and so forth. There’s even the occasional “ladies night” that turns that into a “couples thing.” These are the things that makes me open my bottle of wine and settle into another Saturday night at home with Olive (the cat). While I’m poppin’ the cork on a bottle of cabernet and turning on my Netflix, I realize, “Who needs a boyfriend when I have lots of cute boys at the click of a button?”
Now I know what you’re thinking, crazy cat lady with a drinking problem has no life. But here is how I see it, these fictional boys are always there for you when you need them and if you get tired of one there is always another fish in the sea. I have come up with the list of my five favorite fictional boyfriends and the many reasons why I love them.
5. Chuck Bass Gossip Girl
Oh, Chuck, the King (and bad boy) of the Upper East Side. Even though Chuck did some fairly questionable things throughout the series I can’t help but have a place for him in my heart. He may have had a hard time with the whole “love thing” but eventually he came around, plus he could buy me lots of pretty things. When those three little words come out his mouth I can’t help but go weak at the knees… No I am not talking about the “I love you” but the “I’m Chuck Bass” (Bite lip, sigh).
4. Harmon Rabb Jr. JAG
Ok, so I know this one will go over most of your heads but since these are my boyfriends to damn bad, I am going to list him anyways. Harmon was the leading man for the 90’s show JAG, a show about Navy lawyers. Some of the reasons we love him are he’s smart, sexy, one hell of a lawyer and to top it off he can also fly fighter jets. Oh! And quite frequently we get to see him in his navy dress whites. Say it with me: “panty dropper.”
3. Nolan Ross Revenge
Oh Nolan… so first off I have a thing for the nerdy guy. CEO of his own company, software inventor, computer hacker extraordinaire and not to mention just plain adorable. He comes with his own home in the Hamptons and millions in the bank. What more could a girl ask for? Nolan does play hopscotch with that gay/straight line, but I am holding out hope
2. Damon Salvatore The Vampire Diaries
Damon is the sexiest of the Salvatore vampires. While he may be 171 years old he don’t look a day over 24. I love Damon for many reasons, one being he’s played by the HOT Ian SmolderHotter.. (I mean Somerhalder). He is just ridiculously good looking. As much as he is kind of a hard ass he really has a soft side when it comes to the ladies he falls in love with. Now I may be out of luck with him falling for me because I’m not a Patrova Doppelganger but a girl can hope. Added bonus he could give me the hot vamp sex, which looks pretty damn fantastic in the show… no judgy…
1. Chandler Bing Friends
I grew up watching Friends and can quote 90 percent of the episodes. That could be the reason why my mom hates watching it with me (now I have to watch it with Olive). Who doesn’t want that one guy who can make you laugh all the time? Yes, he has done some not so great things to the women he has dated, like the whole Yemen incident (But hey that was Janice I would have actually moved to Yemen to get away from that chick “OH MY GOD”). But all and all Chandler is smart, funny and an all-around sweet guy. That is why he tops my list. Oh and he has the best dance moves!
While my list of fictional boyfriends is ever changing I know that no matter what they are all there for me.
But if someone comes across any of these men in real life please don’t hesitate to get ahold of me.
Queen Creek, Arizona
Hi! My name is Sammy Hancey and welcome to the inner workings of my mind…(I’m sorry). I am 26 years old from Portland Oregon… Okay not really from Portland but no one knows where the hell Jewell is (Small town, middle of nowhere, lots of cows). Most days I act like I have my shit together, but in all reality (and in true spinster style) I’m kind of a mess.
I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up so currently I am a bartender/”whatever random shifts need to be covered” person at Red Lobster, but looking to jump back into the whole college thing. My hobbies include binge watching Netflix, drinking wine, playing pool, drinking wine, watching Dueling Pianos on Friday nights, drinking wine, pinning crap on Pinterest…and did I mention drinking wine?
The last two years I have really come into my own. I let go of a relationship I thought I was destined to be in forever but in reality, it was fated to fall apart from the very beginning. Even though not having a boyfriend to lean on has been tough, I got to learn how to be me again, thus making me a better and stronger person.
Diary of a Gay Spinster is one of my favorite blogs to read and I am so honored and excited to contribute to Spinster Week. I hope my contribution at least makes one of you smile! Xoxo!!