Tell me I’m funny, I already know I’m pretty.
It’s an interesting statement and frequent theme in pop culture. We are so obsessed with looks and appearances, what to wear, who to be seen with, how to carry yourself. We put more pressure on women and men (especially women and gay men) to achieve a status of perfect beauty. And even if they can’t reach perfection, it’s expected to at least try.
So when someone says, “What do you like about me?” and they hear, “I love your perfect hair, how skinny you are and that SWEET ASS” they feel objectified and looked at with an artificial eye. They want to hear, “I love your laugh, I love your strength and how kind you are. I love how intelligent you are and dedicated to your craft. I love the way you make me laugh, you’re just so funny.”
I’m not that person.
Tell me I’m pretty, I already know I’m funny.
Ever since I was a kid, I grew used to people enjoying my company. Personally, I never felt very good looking in a classic sense but I knew I had a lot of energy and a need to entertain. I was aware I had a problem in first grade when I got kicked out of class for standing up during story time to perform a fabulous dance routine a la Britney Spears.
At a young age, I was lucky enough to find confidence in who I was as a person. But for some reason I was more concerned with how I look. It’s probably one of the reasons why in high school I connected so well with Kathy Griffin, a hilarious comedian with a loud personality who has had multiple plastic surgery procedures done to her body and face. Do we care what people have to say about our views? Hell no. Do we care if we’re considered obnoxious and (at times) offensive? Hell no. Do we care if we were to get made fun of for having a weird nose? YOU BETTAH BE-LEEEE DAT.
I wanna get whistled at on the street. I wanna be objectified and get my ass grabbed in a bar by some arrogant douchebag who couldn’t help himself.
And this is not a bad thing. If it’s OK for people to work on their personalities and become better people, I think it’s OK for people to use makeup or clothing to make themselves find their own sense of pretty.
At the end of the day, we all want to be recognized for the aspects of ourselves that receive less attention.
And on a side note, that poor girl who just wants to be recognized for her mind and not her body is living in a sexist society. So when she is upset about not being valued for her intelligence, someone might tell her, “Well then don’t flaunt your tits and big hair and maybe they will get to know the REAL YOU.”
THAT’S THE STUPIDEST SHIT I’VE EVER HEARD. If that’s the advice one would give her, what would you give me?
Me: “Ugh, I’m so tired of guys telling me I’m so funny and nice, can’t someone just grab my ass and say “HOW U DOIN'” Joey Tribbiani style?”
Advice giver: “Well maybe stop being so funny and nice and perhaps someone would notice what a great ass you have.”
The most important thing to note here, is as humans, we seek to be valued by our peers. We seek to feel like we belong. But the it shouldn’t matter what other people think about you. Your beauty isn’t defined by compliments and your self-worth isn’t defined by friendly comments.
You can be funny and you can be pretty at the same time. But you’re the one who has to define it for yourself.
Even though we retaliate against the media’s use of artificial beauty by putting more emphasis on inner beauty, just know there are people along the way who already feel validated for their inner beauty and long to have both.