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My Summer Fling with Chandler Bing (Part One)

It’s no secret that I’m an open book.

In fact, I’m easily the most open of books. I’m practically a travel brochure.

I usually blame this on my astrology as a wandering and open Sagittarius. If Taylor Swift’s birthday was the day after yours, you’d be a little open too.

So what happens when you meet someone who is born the same day as you, in the same year, two hours after your triumphant birth? Having two of the same people can get annoying in any circumstance, but this guy was something else entirely.

For the past two years I’ve said what I need in a man is an old soul, a joke cracking, sarcastic, lazy and ambitious Chandler Bing. Well that’s just what I found during my summer in New York City. And his name was Joshua Thomas.




When I first met Joshua, I knew something was going to happen between us. He enters a room like he owns the moment, but in the most subtle and humble of ways. It’s like he knew he was hot, intelligent, and talented but welcomed other people to shine.

And then there was me. Crazy power walker MESS. When I walk into a room, I usually get the “who does he think he is” mixed with “I’m not sure he has it all together” reaction. But I suppose that can come off as a charming trait. At least it did for Josh.

When I first came to NYC I met a lot of power gays and power nots but no one quite as lowkey as me. It was a lonely feeling. Luckily for me, Joshua was a lot closer to earth.


I was friends with this one guy in AZ before I left for New York. He told me, “You’re gonna find love in NYC.”

BAH! LOVE?! LOVE IS FOR THE WEAK! I laughed in his face and took to my lair to brew some more anti-love potions. But that shit didn’t work. No matter how hard I tried and avoided the L word, I began to become infatuated with Joshua Thomas. This did not sit well with me but being the adventurous and blindly optimistic person that I am, I let it all unfold.

Josh and I could talk. I mean, really talk. For hours. And this was something I only do with about four people in my life. The thing is, while I’ve had a boyfriend, and talked to other guys and gone out on dates, I never really had a true authentic connection. I ignored the “If we were just friends, would I hang out with you” test. I would SO be friends with Josh. I didn’t even have to try. It just made things that much harder to avoid falling into that annoying L word.

My favorite days with Josh would be spent at his apartment. We would just order Chinese and watch shitty TV on Netflix. He felt like home for some reason and it made me nervous because I didn’t know him very well.

Being with Josh showed me what I really wanted. No more were the days when I would force myself to find someone attractive or pretend to laugh at their jokes. I didn’t have time for that anymore. I found what I what I wanted and there was no going back to mediocre. I’m not saying the guys in my past are mediocre people, they were mediocre matches. We didn’t vibe on both ends. I wasn’t right for them and they weren’t right for me.

I knew this is was only for the summer, I mean we both reside in opposite sides of the country. To continue any of this further would just be silly. But again, the blind optimism got me thinking, “Maybe we could make this work.”

I think part of the reason why Josh and I hit it off so quickly was we were complete opposites. Josh loves being simple and can’t wait to get older so he can have kids and sip his coffee with the morning paper. I live for extravagance and want to be young forever. You know that scene in Sex and the City 2 (to the few of you who’ve seen it) where Carrie is like, “Look here Mr. Big, get off that couch you little ho, I want to go out and eat bad catered food and get pushed around in a crowd of people. I hate take-out blah blah”?

Well I’m Carrie.

And it’s annoying.

And it could be the reason why the next sequence of events went farther south than Paula Deen’s career…

Read Part Two here.


1 Comment

  1. Pingback: You’re So Vain, You Probably Think This Blog Is About You | Diary of a Gay Spinster

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