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Guest Post: From Heartbreak to NYC in 7 Easy Steps

by Ashley Haines

And by easy, I mean really challenging and gut wrenching. But don’t fret, my friends, it is possible. In fact, I am a living testimonial. Disclaimer: Previous successes do not guarantee future outcomes. May take up to six months to see results.


  1. Get your heartbroken. Destroyed. It doesn’t matter how you do it, but there are plenty of ways to get the job done. And when it does, your world will shatter, and nothing will piss you off more than hearing people try to console you by telling you “we all go through it- it’s ok.” Sure, we do all experience heartbreak at one point or another—hell, some of us will be fortunate enough to experience multiple times—but not everyone feels solace in knowing how common the experience is. At the end of the day, it’s incredibly shitty, and trivializing it won’t change a thing.
  2. Cry. A lot. Don’t be ashamed, baby girl (or boy), let it alllll out. Scream if you have to. Be angry. Whatever you do, avoid letting your emotions build up like pressure in an unopened bottle of Coke. You know what happens when that bottle gets shaken up enough? It explodes, and it ain’t pretty.
  3. Stay away from social media. Seriously. Delete everything if you have to. Let’s face it: Twitter doesn’t care about what you’re going through. And any of your followers who do actually give a damn about you will find a way to let you know. Plus, you know that saying, “out of sight, out of mind”? That’s the idea here. Don’t torture yourself by checking your ex’s updates—you’ll just be crushed knowing he’s perfectly fine without you.
  4. Pull yourself together. Not after your mom constantly nags you to. Do it on your own time. You’ll know when the time is right. Something will just click inside of you, telling you that it’s not the end of the world. This is the step when you begin to realize that no one else should be the center of your universe besides you. When you realize that nothing is more important than loving yourself first because, baby, you’re fabulous. You’re a goddamn queen (or king). And from this point on, never let anyone tell you any different.
  5. Treat yo self. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Like change your hair color. Or get a tattoo. Or go buy that one pair of shoes that you’ve been visiting every week at the mall, just to see if they’re still there. And while you’re at it, buy yourself a couple of new dresses and a new shade of lipstick. I did all of those things, in the pursuit of my happiness. That’s what this phase is all about: your happiness.
  6. Apply for that internship you’ve always wanted. You know how you’ve always dreamt of escaping the barren desert that is Arizona? This is the first step in doing just that. You’re smart, you’re talented, and you have nothing to lose. You’ve always dreamt of living and working in New York, so send your resume and cover letters all over the Big Apple.
  7. Board that plane. Next stop: New York City, bitch. I told you you’re smart and talented right? That interview was a breeze, like a walk in Central Park. Now, you get to spend the whole summer living the dream. That’s what I’m talking about. The city is yours. Now, go forth and be the bold bitch you are.

Ash stairs

Check out Ashley on LOOKBOOK here and follow her on Twitter @batangmanika.

More related links:

The Bold Bitch Diaries | Part Five: The Final Chapter
Love is a Choice
Still a Sad Spinster


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