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The Intern Diaries | Part Three: Why Can’t I Be You?

Have you ever met someone so fabulous and perfect that you wondered why you can’t be them? Do you think about how this person started out and then fantasize about them f**king up (just a little bit) to remind you that they’re human?


I feel this way about Beyonce.

And I also feel this way about the people I work with at my internships.

Who We Want to Be

Stella, Lance, and I, three PR interns at a large international company, watched as the titans of our department ran shit every day. And ran it well. They weren’t only good at their jobs, but at being people. “AW HELL,” I thought. “They are just so fabulous.”

Let me introduce them to you:

First, there’s Rocco. He is the very definition of a successful and gorgeous gay. He looks like he lives in a coconut water commercial. Not only is he great at his job, he’s also married. And the husband is perfect, too! It’s so ridiculous. It’s like “Neil Patrick and David WHO?”

Next there’s Olivia. Oh Olivia, quick like the wind and graceful like a swan. She dresses  like such a power woman (because she is one) and is always ready to get down to business. With her brightly colored outfit ensembles, Olivia can snatch your attention and instantly make you feel terrible about yourself. She’s a bit messy, but in a cute way. In fact, I want her to hire me as the Jennifer Hudson to her Carrie Bradshaw in the Sex and the City movie. MAYBE I’LL EVEN GET MY VERY OWN LOUIS VUITTON!

You also have Marianne. Marianne is that sweet adorable cat lady who just so happens to have it all. She’s married and has had a successful career. The woman has seen it everything. She’s been at this with so many different companies, it almost makes me want to puke because it sounds stressful as hell that I have to do all that by the time I’m her age. 29 is not that far away (*wink*). She’s beauty and she’s grace. She’s Ms. Marianne Bates. If there’s one person who can make a celebrity blush, it would be her.

Then there’s Sasha. Sasha is a fierce bitch, through and through. She’s bubbly and sweet, and yet at the same time, you can tell that if you piss her off, she will cut you. Which is something I connect with and find exciting. She’s a hot commodity with the company and honestly, every time she opens her mouth and starts speaking, I ask myself, “WILL I EVER BE THAT LOVABLE.” And then I start crying.

Lastly, there’s Catherine. She’s beautiful, talented, poised, intelligent, uber successful…and she’s terrifying. She’s in charge of all of us, and pretty much the poster woman for Power Women everywhere. Catherine literally glows. Like I don’t know if she was exposed to radiation as a child or something, but she glows like a heavenly angel. She’s the Beyonce of the company, and we interns are just mere Rihanna’s.

Becoming Yourself

From the beginning of my junior year in high school, fresh out the closet, I dreamed of one day living the life of fictional character Carrie Bradshaw. HOW FUCKING STUPID.

The fact of the matter is, we all have cliche visions of ourselves, and I was in for a rude awakening when I began my twenties. Apparently, it takes a lot more than just writing intimate and cheeky stories about yourself to have your own apartment and designer clothes, running around the city hunting for a man who will love you.

The 90’s lied to me. Thanks, Bill Clinton.

While Candace Bushnell created an alternate reality of dream careers and gal time, I had to live in my reality. Arizona to be exact. It was clear that I had to do everything I could to leave the state I was in (both mentally and geographically) and take over NYC with a “can-do” attitude. Everybody told me, “You’ll kill it out there!” “You’re meant for big things!”

Again, this was a lie. Thanks, Mom.

Honestly, I’m just kidding about that last part, but it is funny how some people believe moving to a big city will make you who you want to be.

YOU have to make you who you want to be, and no city, no matter how big or how small can prepare you for that. Listen to your gut and go where you need to go.

When God calls, pick up the damn phone.

xoxo Robby Rob

Have you ever wanted to be someone you thought was fabulous? 

More Intern Diaries:

Stella, Girl On Fire



  1. Pingback: The Intern Diaries | Diary of a Gay Spinster

  2. Whenever I blog, I think to myself, “What would Carrie Bradshaw write?” But then I fuck it up, and it’s still okay.

  3. Ripley Ward says

    I think I love you ! This was insightful Funny & fabulous all at the same time ! I loved the part at the end about you making yourself into who you want to be ! As someone who also believed She was Carrie Bradshaw just the black version lol ! I complete understand ya on the over active imagination ! & my Arizona happens to be Texas but when I decide to make the big move towards the city that never sleeps ill remember your advice ! Please keep the intern diaries coming !


    • Oh my goodness, thank you for this, so sweet! Girl, it’s a struggle, but if I can do it, anyone can! More Intern Diaries coming next week.

      xoxo Robert

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