All Diary Entries, Dave Ryan, Lifestyle, Spinster Week
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Boundaries of a Bold Bitch

Toeing the lines…

By David Ryan

So as Spinster Week comes to a close, Robert had the brilliant idea of putting you to sleep: with me. HA! Being trusted with the toughest leg of the relay, naturally I would never procrastinate the hell out of my deadline. HA! (Yeah. Sorry, Robert…)

But today, I want to talk to you about drawing and toeing the line — knowing what the limits are, even if they’re just what’s perceived.

On Tumblr (and vis a vis this Instagram), there are the wise words: “wake up every morning and tell yourself you’re a badass bitch from hell and that no one can fuck with you and don’t let anybody fuck with you.”

In life we sometimes make secret compromises for the greater good. Like tolerating behavior in friends we don’t always find endearing. Or a significant other your friend is happy with that you don’t think is good enough. Or patience and support for the grieving. Or just not subjecting the world to our ratchetness and staying in.

As an aspiring journalist, toeing the line means having as much empathy and sympathy for sources as possible, while simultaneously accepting nothing at face value.

But it’s important to place limits on yourself.

No, you didn’t read that wrong. I’m sure everyone’s always told you never to limit yourself, but they were wrong. Okay, they probably meant not to close your mind or weigh yourself down, and they’re right, but limits aren’t bad.

Placing limits on yourself is the best way to grow.

It’s knowing when a job is no longer worth it.

It’s knowing when to get and stay out of a relationship or friendship.

It’s knowing you can only take yourself so seriously.

It doesn’t sound sexy at first glance, a bold bitch with clear boundaries. A bold spinster bitch can’t have boundaries, right? She has to be mysterious, laugh in the face of danger and break the rules, right?

Gaga. Cause she has to deal with this everyday.

Gaga. Cause she has to deal with this everyday.

Well, first off, mystery is only attractive in the initial phase of any kind of relationship. Sure people like a chase now and then, but long-term if you withhold too much of yourself, you just come off as secretive and unpredictable. It’s attractive in a James Bond movie, but not in real life. Which is why it drives me crazy when girls think it’s a good idea to “play games” with guys.

No, not if you think confidence is sexy. Toeing the line is all about pushing boundaries, but knowing exactly where to stop. It’s knowing exactly how much to share, and exactly when to over-share. It’s leaving a clout of mystery, but drawing the line at being phony. That’s the mark of a good person: interesting enough to be engaging, authentic enough to be honest and humble.

So get ready to go, toes on the line, because life starts when you do.

Follow David on Twitter @DavidRyanMedia.

More Spinster Week:

DILFS: Top 10 Dudes I’d Like to F**k
Don’t Be a Poser
People Pleasers: Do You, Girl!
Online Dating is a Joke



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