All Diary Entries, Lifestyle, Spinster Week, Tiffany Hopkins
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Guest Post: Don’t Be a Poser

This is a public service announcement


By Tiffany Hopkins

I shall begin with my definition of a poser, because everyone has a slightly different one.

POSER /ˈpoʊzər/ – Someone who is pretending. They can pretend in any aspect of his/her life, whether it is their personality, style, interests, hobbies, friends or even their beliefs.

Synonym: faker (P.S. anything including the word fake is never good. Purses can be fake, people should not be.)

Posers aren’t bad people, but no one knows “the real” them. Hell, they don’t even know the real them.
That being said, I have a great tale for all you curious readers.

The Back Story

During my senior year of high school, I had a friend named Jared Peterson (FYI: We are no longer friends. I’ll consider telling you why later.)

Jared was an awesome lad, a good-looking skinny, hippie man who had plans of moving to India by the age of 25. His girlfriend was the sweetest girl anyone could ever meet. Her name was Sarah, and she was just precious. I liked her for one simple reason: she didn’t seem crazy.

After being together for almost a year, the couple broke up, because Jared needed some time for himself right before college.

Jared and I were close, and he became the most prominent friend on my MySpace profile (I posted way too many photos of him on my page.)

MySpace showed the whole world, including Sarah, our great friendship. Sarah had an extremely hard time letting go of Jared.

Still, I was cool with this chick. I knew we had some similar interests. I loved fashion, writing, and being a bold bitch. And as MySpace portrayed…apparently, so did she.

I would see things she’d post, and I thought she was super cool. She would ask me for advice, and I had no problem helping her out.

And the posing begins…

Soon enough, I started to notice some weird shit.

My MySpace profile showed everyone what kind of person I was. I’d frequently post about my writing activities, attending local shows, and my love of travelling.

Sarah basically started copying every aspect of my life to re-gain Jared’s affection. She knew Jared and I were close as hell, and she thought that if she was just like me, maybe he’d like her again.

Signs of posing:

• I’d post a photo of my favorite band t-shirt. Minutes later, she’d post about how she was currently listened to the band’s latest CD.

Not skeptical yet?

• I would post a photo of me writing, and she’d post about how writing was her passion. Jared’s response “I dated this girl for a year, and I never knew she liked to write.”

My response, “Uhh…that bitch be bogus.”

• I’d write comments about how I believed that everyone on Earth needed to take a chill pill. She’d post pictures with phrases portraying her “chill” personality.

Still need more posing evidence?

• I would add a photo of myself standing next to a tree in my front yard, and 15 minutes later, she would literally take a photo of herself on a tree, climbing that shit.

Like, BITCH, CLIMB OUT OF THAT FUCKING TREE. It will not make you become me, I promise.

These are just a few signs of her trying to become me, I’d be glad to share more examples if you’d like.

The Life Lesson

I never told Jared about the things I noticed, he noticed ‘em all on his own. I wasn’t trying to talk shit about a girl who I thought was nice.

In the end, Sarah’s actions caused Jared to push her even farther away, because her fakeness made her seem so lame.
My opinions about her actions changed a number of times. At first, I was weird-ed out. Then, I was flattered that another human being thought I was cool enough to copy.

After that, I was angry that someone copied everything about me just to seem cool, when I knew she wasn’t being sincere. I was really passionate about some of this stuff, and it bothered me that she was doing this just to impress others.


But lastly, I felt sad for her. I wanted to sit her down, and tell her to just be herself.

Jared, along with the whole world, would love her if she was her own unique self. I felt like she was missing out on having a great life, because she was so consumed in having a different one. She was so consumed in being someone else.

‘Tis a waste of living I tell you!

If I could go back and speak to Sarah I’d tell her to be happy in her own skin, and not to worry so much about winning back an ex-boyfriend or trying to be “cool.”

What is cool anyways? There is no answer, because everyone has a different answer.

The answer is to be you, and be true.

I love you all, and until next time!

~Good vibes my friends, good fucking vibes~

Check out Tiffany’s blog and follow her on Twitter @tiffyhop.

More related links:

#FinalsWeek: The Week from Hell
Regina George
3 Ways to Spot a Thirsty Facebook Friend



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