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The Mr. High School Diaries | Part Two: Rude Bitch


Circa 2010, Senior Year.

I was quite manipulative in high school. Nowadays I use my powers for good rather than evil, but back then I would use the gift of manipulation for the most petty of circumstances. Including my problem with a girl, who sat next to me in health class sophomore year, named Roxy.

The Situation

Sometimes when I tell this story, people ask what was so bad about Roxy. They want to know, “What did Roxy do to make you do that to her?” The answer is simple. She was a loud mess who didn’t know when to stop lying about her life story and she chose me to be the one who hears about it. I just did NOT have time for that.

Roxy had many stories to tell. Apparently her father left for Mexico after meeting a stripper and her mom is an alcoholic. I didn’t really care because she told all these stories with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. I just could not buy her story. I couldn’t figure out why someone would spill the beans about her family’s secrets to a stranger who sat next to her. Clearly this girl was looking for attention and clearly she had some issues. But I was not about to open that box because I was already doing poorly in class. Homeboy needed to pay attention.

16-year-old me in health class. Oh and that's my friend who kept me sane in that class. WORD.

16-year-old me in health class. Oh and that’s my friend who kept me sane in that class. WORD.

Roxy continued to make me listen to her and continued to tell more exaggerated stories. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. How was I supposed to get a good grade in class and maintain some sort of sanity? Then the answer came to me, a very evil answer. That answer was Jared Ryan.

Jared was on the swim team and he was pretty cute. I was still in the closet when I first met him but goodness I noticed. And guess who else noticed his attractiveness? Well Roxy, of course.

Roxy wasn’t just attracted to Jared, she was obsessed with him. The girl told me she joined the swim team for him and even had a book written about him. But here’s the kicker…he hadn’t even spoken to her.

Desperate to get away from Roxy, I used her obsession with Jared against her. You see, Jared sat on the other side of the room, far away from where Roxy and I sat. And there just so happened to be an open seat next to Jared. So I went in for the kill…

“Roxy, I’m pretty sure Jared likes you,” I said to her at the beginning of class.

I could see her face light up. Yet she still doubted my suggestion.

“No, he doesn’t like me,” she said smiling.

“Trust me, girl. He asked about you in our Spanish class. The boy is into you.”

“OH MY GOODNESS NO WAY!” Roxy began to freak out.

“And there’s an open seat right next to him! You should go over there.” My plan was falling into place.

And then it happened. Roxy left me for another man. I was never happier.

The Reflection

I felt kinda bad about doing that. I straight up told a girl, who was already a mess, that the boy she was obsessed with was into her. And it wasn’t fair to Jared either. Now he had to deal with telling her he wasn’t interested (or maybe he was, I don’t know) and it would have been a whole debacle. All started by me because I couldn’t handle listening to this girl’s stories.

I was such an attractive closeted 16-year-old. #hotmess

I was such an attractive 16-year-old. #hotmess

If I were in that situation today, I would be straight up about it, I suppose, or say nothing at all. As you get older, you learn how to do two things: 1) be upfront with people 2) GET OVER IT. You either don’t have time to beat around the bush or you just don’t care enough. It comforts me to know I’ve reached this point because manipulation is just too much work. We can’t all be like Victoria Grayson, can we? I was a rude bitch because I was shady and sneaky. Sometimes honest people are perceived  as rude because the truth hurts. But I’d rather someone be straight up with me than to do some terrible shit like that. Not everyone is like this, though. Some people like to sweep things under the rug. Just know it’s important to handle situations with dignity, not with manipulation.

Be honest or shut up. You decide what’s important.

xoxo Robby Rob

Coming Soon

The Bold Bitch Diaries | Part Five: New York City!

Thursday, 4/11/13 @ 10am.


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