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Still a Sad Spinster

So I kind of thought creating a blog about being a spinster would in turn change my social status from spinster to flawless career girl, but that has not been the case.

In fact, I have spun even farther into the abyss of spinsterhood.

For instance, two months ago, I said to myself, “Oh my goodness! There’s something about this winter, I can feel it. I just know I’ll have a boyfriend by December.”

December is next week, bitch.

And that is SUCH a spinster thing to say, to believe that you are actually destined to find romance within a specific period of time when in reality you know that you “ain’t got no time for that.”

Just the other day, I told a woman I liked her sweater. It had two fucking cats on it. I almost shat when I realized what my taste in apparel had become. Say goodbye to H&M and say hello to the tourist t-shirts at CVS Pharmacy.

And don’t even get me started on this whole Regina George thing. It’s quite exciting and totally intriguing, but that’s just it. The fact that the most exciting thing in my life is trying to be gal pals with someone just so I can pretend I’m Cady Heron, is a problem in itself. GURL IT’S A STRUGGLE OUT HERE.

But maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe my addiction to ABC dramas starring strong female leads is not reason to question myself. Perhaps searching for Tupperware sales online or praying to Jesus that Oprah’s network doesn’t get taken off the air, is just a part of being a normal 20-year-old.

Who am I fooling, though really?

I’m not saying that I’m doomed, but seeing as how the only relationship I’ve had lasted for a month and took place over four years ago, that ticking clock begins to sound louder and louder every day.

TIK TOK ON THE CLOCK BUT THE PARTY DON’T STOP NO.

thanks ke$ha.

thank you for yo wisdom girl.

BLESS BITCH.

xoxo Robert

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3 Comments

  1. Pingback: Online Dating is a Joke | Diary of a Gay Spinster

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