Flaunting a green sash around campus proved to be quite attention getting, something I endorsed to climb the ranks in the High School Hierarchy system. Throughout most of my childhood, I dreamed of one day being crowned Ms. America, but my dose of reality sunk in after my mother said it was inappropriate for an eight year old boy to be wearing high heeled shoes. I then told her that it was inappropriate to be wearing Mom Jeans at the age of twenty eight.
My chances of winning enough votes to become Fairfield High’s Homecoming King, were quite likely. Playing lead roles in school plays guaranteed me the votes from the the theater folk and being friends with one football player somehow managed the support of other team members. The stoner kids were also on my side, because I too enjoy a good jumbo bag of potato chips during first period. The only group I didn’t own was the basketball team, because Chad Hunter, star player–or some, shit–was in the running with me. I really don’t know what position he played and I really don’t know if basketball even has positions, or if they have some sort of number system with their jerseys. I’m not even sure if basketball players call their garb “jerseys”.
“You’re gonna win, I know you are!” Jayden said, pumping me up before the Homecoming Nominee Pep Rally.
“Thank you! But we’ll see.” I tried to be modest about it.
“I’m so excited for you.”
Jayden then sent a kiss by pressing his lips against his hands and placing them upon my face. He even put his signature wink to good use.
Screaming on the inside can only be contained for so long, so naturally, my body got annoyed with the raucous and forced out the noise through the magic of Lady Gaga. I don’t think I had ever sang about disco sticks as loud as I did that day. The moment I took to the pep rally, walking across the gym, waving and showcasing my sash, all of the confidence in the world unexpectedly coursed through my veins. Before Jayden, I was just a theater student, bound for community college, but with Jayden, I could change the world.
Jayden Tucker, inspiring millions, one wink at a time.
After the pep rally, the world began to slow down as I analyzed my next move in me and Jayden’s relationship. I only did this for less than a minute; I am never one to take much time to think before I act.
“Jayden? Can we talk?” I asked, pulling him aside in theater class post rally.
“Yeah, is everything okay?” his concern was slightly elating.
“Yes, everything is fine. I just thought I’d share something with you.”
“Oh, okay. Let’s find a more quiet place.”
We took to moseying down the empty hallways, temporarily abandoned by that treacherous bell.
* * *
7 MONTHS EARLIER:
“Why do you hate me so much?” Jayden was a furious teapot, ready to be removed from the flames. He was following me to the cafeteria one Thursday at lunch.
“Why does it matter? Just stop talking to me alright?” I said, without spinning around to face him.
“It’s just so frustrating, Robert. Like, I don’t know what I’ve ever done to you. I don’t know what I’ve ever done to upset you.I don’t understand why you refuse to be my friend. I just don’t get it.”
Seeing him hurt over my explicit ignorance of his existence, was half elating and half heart wrenching. Not everybody has the luxury of surrendering to love, or even friendship. Sometimes, it’s the ones who have the most love to give, that end up shielding away the hearts that beat solely for their presence.
“Well, Jayden, I guess you’ll just have to get over it.”
Jayden halted mid stride and found himself puzzled by my consistent resistance. I guess if I had never put that teapot over the flames, it wouldn’t have had a reason to whistle for my attention.
About Skittles For Breakfast
Skittles For Breakfast is a book I began working on as a Personal Writing Course assignment almost one year ago. I had found myself to be having extreme writer’s block and did not know which ‘personal’ experiences I could pull from. So, instead of choosing the most relevant experiences in my life, I chose the ones most likely to entertain other people. The wonderful thing about writing it was having that special humor one can only have when recalling uncomfortable events, something that is absent during the time in which these events take place. Humor is brought to life over time, hence the phrase, “we’ll be laughing about this years from now.” The truth is, I believe that sometimes the best revenge you can have on a person who did you wrong is to attempt to turn their actions into the greatest comedy of all time. Everyone needs a good laugh, so make them laugh with you, and give them someone to laugh at. And now, here is an excerpt from my supremely exaggerated, borderline ignorant, melodramatic, narcissistic, truth telling, super annoying book, Skittles For Breakfast.