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Diary of a Gay Spinster

spinster |ˈspinstər|

noun

an unmarried woman, typically an older woman beyond the usual age for marriage.

So the definition doesn’t necessarily fit me, but at the same time it fits all too well. I am nowhere close to being a woman, unless of course you’re a stranger on the phone with me, who’s courteous language includes, “yes, ma’am/no, ma’am.” I guess I just sound like a woman.

And ‘beyond the usual age for marriage’? That’s not even legal for me yet. Especially not in the hot & lovely state of Arizona.

So what is it then?

Well, I am a 20-year-old college student who spends his weekends working and catching up on the DVR, with the occasional dinner night out at some restaurant chain that has commercials played on television regularly, sometimes the casual movie goer. I love gas station food a little too much, I post pictures on Instagram almost everyday, just to feel like I’m doing something interesting and hope people care, judge anyone who’s full of themselves, but really just secretly jealous because they actually have their shit together, and I haven’t had a date or any sort of romantic relations with a guy in 4 years.

Yes, I’m still too young to be considered a “spinster,” but at the rate I’m going, I might as well own it.

And honestly, claiming the darkest or embarrassing parts of you is what holds other people back from calling you out on your shit. Be your own comedian. Laugh at yourself everyday. Find the humor in your tragedy.

Take your work seriously, but yourself not seriously enough.

Be the best without being the worst.

I just want the Oprah Show back.

God, I’m such a spinster.

xoxo Robby Rob

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